Another Colleagues Rant

I am very much disappointed that we only have a week’s worth of sembreak. I just want to have that long and refreshing break that would make me actually go back to school again. I just don’t want to think of any school-related thing now even as I am planning to check my students’ outputs. My students are my source of strength. What I cannot stand is my colleagues’ presence. I dread it every second. I feel like I am a slave to their caprices. It was much made bigger by the misfortunes I had last term. I have been much distressed since then. And their looming anger at my every step scares me. It’s already been five months now since I first stepped into the halls of this new school, and I feel as if I am still not grounded. That I am still the outsider, the odd one out in our team. I always felt that my stay with them will be transient. And that come January, I would have to scout again for new schools to apply to. If that’s the case then, my plan of action is to get the necessary documents for my MA and to apply to a state university as what I was previously planning.

I just hate one of my colleagues sometimes, she is the only one I know of who has a boyfriend but it overly smug and rude. If only our students could truly see here as she really is. I do not think they would have a crush on her. I always think that this bitterness towards me is caused by what I can see as her being threatened by my presence in the department. If only she could realize that I have no plans of snatching her throne from her. What I only want to do is to teach and not to strive to please anyone. But then, it is badly needed for my being rehired next year. If only I could fast forward the two years so that I could already be a tenured teacher, I would do so, just so a big burden will already be taken away from me. 

Fifty Shades Rant

If somebody dares ask me about Fifty Shades of Grey, I would say, “Boys, this is how your mom’s fantasies would look like.” Just to destroy their lives once and for all.

In all fairness to Twilight, it had the decency to start out as original from the mind of Stephenie Meyer. But Fifty Shades is a badly written fanfiction of a badly written fiction. You can’t possibly write anymore fanfiction of Fifty Shades of Grey in the mature rating because it doesn’t get anymore in-your-face than that.
But if somebody would dare write, I suggest she (since most fanfic writers are female) take it to the extreme. Like humping while Ana is kicking Grey’s balls. Or him pulling out Ana’s nails with pliers while kissing her. I don’t know. If pain and pleasure is the name of the game, then you have to be creative. More creative and extreme than EL James could ever sickeningly dream of.

Before that book became popular, I am against the idea of book-burning, but one day while I was in a bookstore and saw a fucking table dedicated to the trilogy, I wanted to run berserk and shout and hurl all the copies at the attendants, cursing them for “honoring”  the book by putting it in the fucking entrance of the store of all the places.

The True Me

I very much wanted my students to appreciate me the same way I do. But then, given our limited contact, it would be virtually impossible to have even one meeting where we are just going to joke around. Their vitality and their joys give life to my otherwise mundane existence. They give me hope and confidence in myself. Their joys give me strength, their life give me life. And I love them for it. If only they would know how I really appreciate each of them and that the façade I have shown them in our very first meeting is just that, a façade. And that behind it is a soul that craves for life and freedom as much as they do. Then it would be my happiness. I would remember not the scores they got in the requirements I have them but their happiness, their innocence, their child-like wonder at the world. And now they made me fully realize that my purpose in the next years of my life is to take care of them, to guide them and to encourage them no matter how small our age gap may be. They made me feel that I am doing something right in my life and that I made the right decision in choosing not only as my profession but also my life.

It may sound so corny to my rational mind, but then seeing them laugh inside and outside of my classroom are the things I treasure most in my heart. It’s their life which gives me life, it’s their laughter that makes me laugh it’s their naïveté and native intelligence that  tell me that not all is lost. I don’t want to grow indifferent to them to answer their harmless inquiries with sarcasm that most of my colleagues have used to them. I would, in all my capabilities answer them sensibly, treat them maturely and to make them feel that they have a sister in me, if not a parent (because hey, I am just seven years older).

If only I could touch their lives the same way my teachers did to me when I was a student myself, then I would be happy. If only I could influence them to become teachers themselves, given their family backgrounds, I’m pretty sure that none would do so. So with that, I’ll just be here, waiting for them to grow up and realize their dreams, hoping that I may have, even infinitesimally, contributed to their well-being.

It is often said that teaching is the noblest profession and I would have to thank my students this ring in me so true.

Colleagues Rant

As for my work, well, I really do enjoy teaching. It’s the other aspects which really make me tired. I’ve always felt that I can never really trust someone. There’s no connection, really with my colleagues. I feel as if my every move is being watched as much as I want to have a quiet existence. I really am looking forward for the term exams, as I would really have time for myself. Or rather, I would have much time to do paperworks. I miss not talking with people and not have everybody have a say as to how I am going to do my work. I miss not having another eye inside my classroom. I just miss being me in the classroom. I miss not consulting with every other goddamned thing in my fucking class because it’s my fucking class. It’s my lesson. Leave me the fuck alone.

I am not physically tired. I am psychologically fed up with my set-up. I hate this. I just hate it. I’ve become their mouthpiece, really. 

Sometimes, I wish I would just disappear. Or I would wake up one day without the pressure of living. Just me and my existence.  Talking with these fucking people just drains me. Goddamnit, can you just let me do my job?

I Am Not Going to Crack

So I decided to actually write something. Just like what I was already ranting about, I just don’t get my colleagues. How I really wish this year would already end. I don’t care whether I get another year of contract with them or not but I just want this year to be done and over with. It’s just so unbearable, this stress. I have realized in the three years of my career that I really work best alone. 

I am just so happy that I am very much resilient that I am not yet on my knees crying. God, that is something which I am really proud of here in my new school. They say that it’s really difficult being here but truly, they haven’t been where I have been. I am sort of glad that I’ve had that brutal training in my previous school that I can say that being here in my new school isn’t really much of a whirlwind.

That is why I am really looking forward for this year to end. I am just fed up with them. So much mingling. My head is not in the right space this time. They are caring much of my trouble really. They contribute and make things complicated. I’ve always wondered hoe they are going to manage if we reverse the situation. I would very much like them to crack. Never have I felt that I was part of the group. I was the odd one out. They isolate me yet expect me to mingle with them. I just don’t get them. If ever I don’t get my contract extended for another year, I would actually just be very fine with it. 

Though I do not want to leave this school with the reason that I got fired. No, and that thought is the only thing that is keeping me through and for acting to keep my shit together. I will not break. I will not bow down. I will get through this and emerge successful. I will have my revenge and I will have my time. They will be put in their places. I will have a renewed contract next year and I will prove to them that I am much better than they thought. I will be in my element and I will be the best because I am. 

I will never be bogged down by these people who knew nothing of love and professionalism which make me miss my former school. Yes, the work load is shit and the pay is even shittier, but at least my colleagues, especially my team-mates in the second year have made everything bearable.  I just can’t stand my colleagues here. They’re very foul.

Happy with where I am now

I feel like I’ll be retiring in my new school now. I can actually foresee growing old teaching there. Wow. What a very nice vision. I hope it would happen. But before that, I have to be a permanent teacher first. But that would only be approximately 2-3 years from now which I think is not that long. I mean, compare that to the four years of my former school. I truly hope that would happen. And I would make that happen.

I have all the positivity right now.

I just love my new school.

Victory is the Sweetest Revenge

As I was scrolling through my news feed in Facebook, I noticed that I am not anymore a member of the online group of the faculty members of my previous school. It was a closed group, so it would be impossible for me to find that group unless I was invited.

I gave that school two years of my life, you know.

Me being “expelled” from that group left an aftertaste. It was so immature. I have always been a lurker in that group, and yet they would even notice that I was still there. I am inclined to believe that they took me out not only because I am not an actual member of the faculty anymore, but they resent me. They resent me because they know I am in a much better place than they are. I couldn’t think of any more valid reasons.

Well, sucks to be the gay person who administers that group.

I consider it to be the last insult to me.

However, I will make sure that I will prove myself in my new school and slap them in the face with my success. My being hired by a well-known Catholic school for boys is only the beginning, seeing as I am being monitored by them through another former faculty who also happened to be my colleague in my new school,  I will prove to them that I will shine and I will be deemed respected by my new home. Something that they failed to do in my stay there.

Victory is the sweetest revenge.

Victory is my sweetest revenge.

Happy and Contented

I am officially happy with where I am right now.

I have fewer teaching load with better pay, and my new colleagues couldn’t be much warmer. I have easily assimilated to how they do their work there. And I could say that their very positive attitude reflects how their workload is just a breeze. 

It is something that I haven’t experienced in my former school. Though I have yet to gauge the students in this new school, I can officially say that I am contented. I may have some reservations and fears of the English teachers being in my class during my period, but in general, I am happy. 

I love my new school.

For the longest time, I am now officially happy. I am now officially contented with what I have right now. The only thing remaining for me to do is to prove myself to them, that I am worthy of the teaching post I have right now.

I am going to do it right, and I am going to do it perfectly.

The politeobserver will not be in a not-so-indefinite-hiatus anymore

With the sudden turn of events like me being hired in a Catholic school once more, I will have to return to posting in this blog.

The original plan was for me to open another one should it happen that I get hired in the state university where I sent my application and my misadventures be recorded in a cheerier and looser manner in a way that I actually have to be more open as to who I really am and what I really do. However, since it didn’t happen, then I should continue writing in here to of course, protect myself and my students.

I am hoping that even if I am still teaching in a Catholic school, my experiences would be a lot memorable and happier.

Rest assured that the flow of new posts will continue, as the politeobserver is not anymore on a hiatus.

Keep thinking, be curious, continue the wonder.

I Was Again Rejected

I watched that certain documentary about teachers and social workers who still actually teach street children even if they weren’t given any pay. I do not know if I should feel ashamed of myself, but I certainly feel admiration towards them. Here I am wallowing that a certain school which gives almost double of what I was receiving in my former school didn’t give me a call, yet there were teachers who actually receive nothing. I just have too much respect towards them. I will never have the patience, nay, motivation to teach 32 kids knowing that I won’t receive anything come 15th and 30th. That certain documentary made me think and reassess where I am right now.

To those of you here who have been following this blog, I resigned from my previous teaching post because of the salary and lack of academic freedom. I actually already gave my applications to different schools and two called back. One is an established, albeit, Catholic school and the other one is a university funded by the government, thus, a state university. From what I heard from my colleague, the pay in the Catholic school is more or less $500 a month which is way better from the measly $300 we were making in my previous school. $500 in my country is already good considering our profession. But as I was making my assessment of the school, sure, the pay is better, but why is the pay better? I thought that maybe because the amount of work is more toxic than what I left in my previous school. And also, I was just sick and tired of checking quizzes, seatworks, projects, crafting lesson plans and fulfilling my responsibilities as a school paper adviser. Add to that the stress that everyday teaching and dealing with all-boys sections was putting on to me. I know myself. Yes, I can handle these students, hell, they even run away to go their classroom once they heard me or saw me. But it was just too much. And to top it all, once you go to the teachers’ room, you will have to deal with bully tenured teachers who were so egoistic but never really got anything in their teaching and classroom management arsenal. Their only saving grace was their length of service.  Obviously, the pay that I might get from the state university will of course be lower but compared to my previous teaching post, it’s still better. Add to that the academic freedom and the maturity of students will be all the more tempting. Anyway, my head and the academic head were in consensus that I was good, but the content of my lessons and the way I deliver it is just way beyond the level of my students. So, college was really for me.

All of the odds point me to the state university, but goddangit, the pay of the Catholic school was just good that I end up working myself up to no end. Until I followed-up my application in the latter.

After one week of waiting for a call (I was there the previous week to have the interview and exam), they told me that they were considering other possible candidates for the position.

I was just disheartened.  I compared myself to one of my colleagues who was accepted in that same school. We both received Latin honors, we came from the same school, I even have a higher rating than her in the licensure examinations, she graduated in our city college but I graduated from the best university in my country. I was better. Even if she already taught for a year longer than I was, what difference does that make? With all my efforts? I didn’t aim for a fucking Latin honor, getting in my country’s best university just to be dumped have some other people be considered instead of me. Even she was rooting for me because we really wanted to be in the same school. But no, all my credentials was thrown out the window by that school. They didn’t take into account how I measured up against all those applicants and all the newly-hired. I was just fucking distraught. But don’t get me wrong, I am not angry with my friend. I am more of envious of her. She was able to get so much from so little. But me, I who belabored just to be where I am. It was just so unthinkable. Isn’t it enough? Am I not enough? Am I not that good? Then where did all those efforts go? What happened? I just think that their hiring process was just too ridiculous.

So I am here praying that the state university will accept me. Anyway, I already did demonstration teaching and I thought I did well since I was able to peek in one of the panel’s observation sheet.  Still, for good measure, I sent applications again to five more schools.

But that thing, that fucking Catholic school episode was a fucking huge blow to my self-esteem, to my self-worth.

I think I will never be able to recover.

I was, again, rejected.

For no reason at all.

End of School Year Blues

It’s the end of the school year.

Should I have stayed, I could’ve been in Grade 10 which I believe is a validation of my skills as a teacher, but even so, I wanted out of this place. I wanted to go somewhere else where I can grow professionally, where I can say what I wanted to say and where co-workers are not part of your everyday annoyance.

I love my department head to bits, but I think my love of her will never outweigh the annoyance, nay, the hate that I feel towards my colleagues. I felt used and talked behind my back. I felt my contributions to our school were downplayed and that I wasn’t given any recognition for my work. It’s infuriating, really, they would never say a word whenever I did something right, nay, something great yet all their fangs would be on me should I stumble a bit.

Just shows how unprofessional some of the tenured teachers could be.

Which makes go to this: how come some teachers have been in the profession for a very long time and yet why do they act so unprofessional? They would downgrade the new and proby teachers to make themselves look good, but lo and behold! They are the same teachers who couldn’t control their students, couldn’t follow deadlines and couldn’t have a good relationship with their supposedly long-time colleagues. They stink of unprofessionalism I actually find them ridiculous already.

After this two-week lull, my colleagues would report again for work. Now, who said teachers have two-months vacay? It’s pure bullshit, I’m telling you. I’ve been in the same shit last year and that is so not fucking fun. I just feel lucky that I wouldn’t undergo such torture once more.

Really, I don’t have any problems staying in the same school come June, but fuck, I don’t want to see those faces again. I don’t want to see them again and pretend nothing’s going on, when in fact, I wanted to fucking punch them in the face.

Add to that, the salary.

Forget the service, bullshit. I have mouths to feed and a sibling to support. And I need to fill my coffers. I wouldn’t mind actually the extra work that my institution gives me, but shit again, could they at least give the necessary compensation? They’re giving me a sorry $300 a month for all the stress and depression I undergo. It’s not enough to feed a family of four.

It’s flight and flight from this school all the way.

Of course, I owe this school two years of my teaching experience. I honed my teaching and classroom management skills here and I am very grateful of that, but still, I feel that it has drained me to the point that I’m on the edge of mediocrity. And I hate that. Thank you for the experience, but I don’t like the way you treat your teachers.

I’ve tendered my resignation two weeks ago and one of the higher-ups noticed that I’m happy.

Well, I really am.

A burden has been finally lifted off my shoulders.

It’s time to fly again.

I Hate Mediocre Teachers

I hate incompetent, mediocre coworkers.

Thank you very much, Daniel for putting my sentiments succinctly into this pic. 

I have this certain coworker who just avoids every work that is flung to her. To start off, one year has already passed but still, she was not able to earn my respect. She always depends on us in everything, be it in visual aids, preparing lesson plans and whathaveyou. And it also doesn't help that she dodges being assigned in the boys' section. Her reason to this was that she was traumatized by handling boys' sections during her first year of teaching. And that logic, for me, is just pure bullshit. I was as traumatized as her in my first year of teaching, since I handled the batch that she handled, but I ended up liking the boys' sections and I am now enjoying teaching another batch of boys.

Boys? I enjoy them.
I enjoy teaching them (the fuck are you thinking?).

So she's stuck there in her little world of girls' sections and I am unimpressed. Whenever I tease her into handling my boys' sections, she always reply with a defiant "no" and a shake of her head. I still remain unimpressed. Seriously, between the two of us, she must be the better one, she was the one with an M.A. degree, she should be able to manuever herself in the boys' sections. And she's an adult, I'm sure as hell that these boys would follow her, seeing that she is way older (and wiser) than I am. But no, she avoids any kind of work aside from the ones she was already assigned to. An example of this dodging of responsibilities is when somebody among us is absent or has an official function outside the school. Usually, we will have to substitute for the said person and give the class activities. So there was this one time that she is supposed to substitute, but lo and behold, she didn't come. And this didn't happen once, it happened twice, and the teacher to be substituted? Me. I was in the city's division office for a meeting and I prepared an activity for my classes. So the next day, I asked her how my students were (since the section that she was supposed to be in was my rowdiest), but lo and behold again! She said she wasn't able to go in my class! My department head said that she was the one who substituted for me. I let the matter rest, but later, I asked one of my colleagues why. According to her, they thought that my colleague already went to the class but fifteen minutes after the official time, a call from the department office told our head that there wasn't any teacher in my class, so they looked for the supposed substitute teacher, but alas, they weren't able to find her. The ending was that thirty minutes after the official time, it was my head who took over, and the supposed substitute teacher only came to the teachers' room ten minutes before the time ends. Upon coming, she was asked by another colleague if she was aware that she is supposed to substitute for me, and she said she wasn't aware and didn't see the reminders posted on my head's notices board. My colleague told her that she should be looking for notices, so as not to be a nuisance to people.

Fuck yeah.

Surely, she was a nuisance to me and my colleagues that day.

I mean, if my head went there thirty minutes after the official starting time, then it means that the quality of their work would be subpar. What am I going to do with those worksheets? Throw it away? If she was so responsible, she should have felt apologetic. But no, I didn't see any trace of it when I asked her about it the next day. And it makes me think that she deliberately didn't go to my class because, well, she feels like it.

I could have forgiven her, but you see, she's very consistent with her incompetence.

Simple Joys of the Profession

A student sent me a message through Facebook this week telling me that her class won in the speech choir competition in celebration of the National Language Month.

And snore while doing it.

She told me that the class thought that I would have been proud if I was there when they won. She added that the class was more cooperative and they attribute this success to me during our own theater presentation practices last year. She ended with thanking me for being a part of their success now.

Oh my god, a fuckin' student remembers me... *hysteria*

Upon reading this, I was elated that even if a year has already passed, these students from the only pilot class I handled last year still appreciate and thank me for their success. But upon reading and rereading the message, I became sadder and sadder.

And was in denial.

It was because I hoped that they became champion when they were still my students last year, I hope that I was their teacher who won with them, I hoped that their success could directly be attributed to me. But no, I was only one of their many pit stops before they reach their finish line this year under another subject; another teacher.

But still, I comfort myself to the fact that they thought of me during their time of success, and one, one actually found the time to thank me not only for their success, but for the improvement of the whole class.

Class Vignettes

Lesson: Adverbs
Teacher: How do you lick an ice cream?

Student: I lick it up and down.
Class: *laughter*


Lesson: Sentence Errors
Before prayer.
T: You button your polo shirt up; you're not a pornstar.

S1: (buttons his shirt)
S2 at the back: I am a pornstar (sing and dance)

Now imagine this guy in a school uniform...And gyrating like a worm.

T: Oh, so you wan't to be a pornstar? Come here on the platform, strip off your clothes. You want a demonstration here in front?
Class: *laughter*

S2: *blushes* No, ma'am.

Lesson: Simple Past
T: What did you do last night?
S: I jerked off.

The legend of Boy Jerk Off...

Class: *deadly silence*

And the girls suddenly looked interested.

Seriously, these students are too sex-deprived.

I Feel Like A Fraud

Academic discussion in my school, I have observed, are always rather limited, if there are any. And I think that this limitation which is supposed to foster academic camaraderie and critical thinking is the reason why my school is gasping for air of excellence. This is the reason for my school's culture of mediocrity. I have always felt gagged in this school, living always with the fear that somebody from my classes will tell my ideas to other teachers. I always have to watch my mouth because I might say things that other people, being numbed by conservatism, might find wrong. I cannot even say, "fat" anymore without a colleague making it a big deal. I also think that this is the reason why I can't write decently anymore. I've been suppressing my beliefs at the expense of my way of thinking. I've been denying myself my beliefs for a mere $300 a month.

It's hard to f***** shut up, you know.

My students have always viewed me as their most free-minded teacher and they want it that way. But you see, we are in a conservative institution, so I need to dilute the things that I say to them to cover up. And I feel like a fraud. I am covering up things that I believe will show to my students the other side of the coin to the things that they believed, or things that they were lead to believe, all their lives. I want to show them that the world is so rich that they need not to only see one of its facets, but they need and would always want to see its entirety. I went in their glass-stained cage voluntarily, hoping that I will shatter that cage. In a way, I have been a little successful; my "diluted" opinions were became cracks in the mirror. I want to give more, but I am as much as inside the cage as they are.

From the Old Notebook: K - 12 Education

Like what the title says, this essay was written two years ago during the hoopla that was the K-12 education. Apparently, the issue became a bigger hoopla because the curriculum will now be implemented this school year.


Who is tired of studying for fourteen or more straight years? I am. I am because I feel that my brain is so ready to explode right after I throw myself out of college. As for my parents, I can feel their tired sigh as I will finally stop draining their wallets.

You have to admit it, education is one wallet killer.

Formal schooling is a very long and rigid process of educating oneself, and I can actually measure that it is indeed very long, since I grew up studying and living in one place, my dear dear city. I saw the neighbors’ children grow up, I saw changes in the houses, and I saw my neighborhood grow in terms of population, as the said neighbors kept on sharing the night with their spouses. Bottomline? I am growing up, everybody’s growing up, and I am still studying. Some of my contemporaries stopped schooling altogether, and CHOSE to be an out-of-school youth. Their reason? Aside from the obvious, which is that they don't have money, the other reason is the length. Is ten years of Basic Ed that long? They didn’t even try to finish secondary school. I was thinking that maybe they were including college in the count which strengthened the discouragement and disinterest among them and their parents. Elementary and high school is already too long, we can’t bear college anymore, they say, they think that the time spent in school should be spent for working and not for studying. This inclusion of college in the count reflects the mentality that if a person didn’t finish college, then that person will never be able to get a professional job, pushing that person to pursue blue-collared jobs or to be part of the informal sector of the workforce. This is exactly what happened to my contemporaries, they stopped schooling, and are now working. This situation, for me, is not a bad thing, as a person does not need a degree to be a worker, he or she only needs skills appropriate to the job, or he or she can establish a business where he or she will have the income needed. There’s no need to be a summa cum laude to be a gazillionaire.

This is f***in sad.

And here is DepEd trying to push for a twelve year basic education program which they think will further the skills and knowledge of the youth, as they believe that Filipinos are already lagging behind other countries in terms of “global competitiveness”. Parents both from private and public schools were enraged by this proposal, as they will have to shell out bigger amounts of money, and in case of the public school folks, they will have to survive another two years of trying to make ends meet. We can’t blame the parents, they think that basic education is already expensive, and they still have college to think of. But hey, let the children find a way to get through college if the family does not have enough or has no money for college education. Don’t babysit a sixteen year old too much.

Christ Jesus. I wouldn't even consider having a child if he looks like him.

Well, I agree to DepEd to the extent that we are lagging behind everybody in terms of economic competitiveness and the respect received from other nationalities. But since the thrust of our government is to make workers and not entrepreneurs out of my countrymen, then I am totally for the two year extension of the basic education, provided that the curriculum will give the students enough skills to land a job or to make jobs (establish a business) even if they only have a high school diploma. An example of which is basic bookkeeping or hands-on training in the different professions, then if they find something interesting while studying, they can decide to further their studies through attending college, or applying what they have learned right after high school. The point here is that students will be ensured that they will have success even just after high school, and that the decision to pursue college education will be on their hands and not on their parents’ mouths.

This, I think, will be a very difficult undertaking, as what I am thinking will wreck the nerves of my country's attitude towards high school graduates and the college diploma. They value education, I know and am proud of that, but we put too much prestige to the college diploma, to the extent that it is already ridiculous, as we scoff at high school graduates, who are, by the way, also educated, and we can’t seem to deviate from the finish-college-and-get-a-job attitude. This attitude will be the major hindrance to the basic education’s extension’s fruition apart from the budget, political, and social will needed for the changes.
Having a job is not the sole source of income, there are millions of other pursuits that can make us get that dream car, dream house, and dream life. I am telling you this: economically speaking, the completion of both basic and tertiary education is not the sole ticket to success.

I am not saying that we must all dropout from high school or college. We are all unique individuals, and if our formula for success is finishing just high school or both high school and college, then I don’t have any issue, as our triumphs will depend on our choices. What was given here is a vision for the educational system, and probably even for our society.

Advanced English Classes Blues

I have been ranting about my Advanced English classes two weeks ago, and thank God it's already through. I just do not like the idea of waking up during vacation when you are supposed to be sleeping in only to go to work. The pay, as I told you before, is far from appeasing me, actually, it rather adds up to my rage. However, the only consolation that I have is that I have brilliant students who really wanted to learn and develop their speaking skills.

Yep, I want them to talk sensibly. I want them to wow people every time they speak

This advanced English classes is, well, supposed to hone the whatever skills the students already have. These students already mastered the language forms in the classroom, so I decided to focus more on sharpening their speaking and listening skills.

Teaching these students is a whiff of fresh air. They are indeed very, very different from my unruly, crass, and unmotivated students from the past school year. They made me feel that I was doing something right, and that my efforts for them are not laid to waste. I listened to their monotone poetry reading turning into something more promising, I watched their anxiety as they delivered their speeches in front of the incoming Junior students, and I felt elated with their sadness when I told them that we can't have debate anymore because of time-constraints.

It was a challenge teaching them, yet, it was at the same time very fulfilling. And in a way, they made me become aware of the things that I do and don't do as a teacher. I realized that I am not at all the steel-tough teacher that my school wants me to be; I have always felt that I always wanted to reach out to my students, to be relevant to them, thus making a more harmonious classroom. It doesn't matter to me if they would consider the subject as easy, because, for me, it's actually the purpose of learning (and English is actually easy), that you are doing impossible feats in a certain aspect that you don't notice it anymore.

But still, all good things need to end. And come June, another set of unruly, crass, and unmotivated students will come my way.

I think I will miss this summer.

Lesser Teacher

I fiercely disagree that those who are literate cannot be numerate and vice versa. I believe otherwise, as literacy is concrete and numeracy is abstract. Ergo, if you are good in the concrete then it means that you are also good in abstraction.

Yes, the school year has ended, but my experience for this year has only given me enough material to bitch about come vacation. And this is that time.

We deliberated on whether certain students will pass or fail certain subjects or be a retainer. Well. I have two students who will take summer classes.

Here in my place, English, Science, and Math are the three major subjects. I have always believed that if you failed English, then you got to be the most lazy-ass person in the pack, because, you know, out of these three major subjects, English is essentially the easiest. And to top it all off, English teachers here in my school actually do all of the interventions and remedies that could be made just for the students to pass a subject. Like, giving the student a retake of a quiz if he failed it, or making a student write an essay in place of a research paper he didn't submit. Or again, to a greater extent, "adjusting" the grade of the student, if you know what I mean.

That is why I have a hard time passing this certain student. I already gave all the intervention that could be given, gave him the talk, talked to his mother, gave some more remediation and voila! Still, he failed the subject. It even came to the point that I told the mother that his son is bound to fail. With a three consecutive failing grades on his report card, he goddamned needed to have an a satisfactory grade for the last quarter to have a passing average so he could avoid having summer classes and seeing my face again. So, with much reflection and determination on my part that I will defend the grade that I was able to calculate, I gave him the red mark.

Come deliberation day, and this student actually failed Math, Science and English. So my colleagues properly concluded that this student was bound to repeat the whole curriculum. Now, I think I already made it clear before in my earlier posts that this school babysits students when it comes to grades, so one of us (me, the Math teacher and the Science teacher) were expected to give way and give the student a passing grade in his/her subject so that the student, instead of being retained, would just have summer class.

It turns out that this school has always been expecting the English teacher to give way.

But it also turns out that they hired a teacher who's not up to expectations.

I know they know the grading system of my subject, but I still gave them a detailed breakdown of the student's grade. And added the fact that I gave the student necessary remedies so he can pull his grades up, but to no avail (the reason for these remedies thing is for me to justify the student's grade in situations like these. It serves as a proof that sometimes, a few students are some serious slack-offs). Of course, the Math and Science teachers are tenured teachers and I know that everybody in the conference already knew that nobody will back-off.

Before the verdict was given, the homeroom adviser was asked about the students' character. Well, he did a pretty neat job of saving him through glossing over the character of the student. But it didn't just cut it. Not when the student does not have enough character to invest in his future and study.

So, the student was retained.

And it makes so much sense.

Here, all of the subjects are taught in English (except for Social Studies and National Language), Science and Math included. So, it follows that if you have troubles listening, reading, speaking or writing in English, then you will have a more difficult time in the content areas and vice versa.

So I really do not see the reason why there are some people who actually expect English teachers to give way. Is it lack of respect for the subject? For the language? Is it a blatant abuse of the generosity of the teachers themselves who let themselves (and their computations) be questioned?

That is another story.

Advanced English Classes Rant

I am going to have an advanced English classes this coming Monday. And I am having mixed feelings about it.

It will be a 2-week class and the students will be attending classes in their major subjects, English, Math and Science. What I like about this is that my students will be the best students of the incoming sophomores. And I am toying with the idea of making this an almost college course. No predictable motivation, presentation, discussion and all those things that bores students in a normal situation. And I am planning to apply everything that I have learned in college about task-based teaching. Therefore, it would be the students who would be doing more work than I am, which, you see, the very reason why these techniques were formulated in the first place. That every lesson must be student-centered and students must be the ones responsible for their own creation of meaning.

But still, I couldn't get rid of preparing an outline of the topics that we will tackle for these two weeks, and I plan on making it oral-intensive. And this is because I noticed that most of our students, if not all, know English grammar perfectly based on standards-based assessments. They know the grammar forms, but they, even the best students, have difficulty in speaking in the language. So this is what I want to hone for two weeks. Apparently, a cohort told me that my lessons for these classes must be introductions of what they are going to discuss come regular school year. And that is just like cold water thrown on me, because I know that our lessons will be research paper and grammar intensive. Yes, we do have a speech program, but sometimes, it is relegated to the sideline because we need to cover topics that will be included in the summative tests. And this defeats the purpose of learning in the first place. But still, still, I am going to push through with my plan, anyway, this is advanced classes. What they must know are things which are not going to be discussed in a regular classroom.

One thing that made me pissed off with this affair, though, is the compensation. We are already spending our "vacation" by making and editing lesson plans and this added burden of teaching in summer is just a bummer. We teachers of the advanced classes will only be given $16.00, tops. Two weeks, people. Fucking two weeks. That wouldn't make so much difference in the long run, wouldn't it?

Well, that's life. Get bored with it.

End of School Year Blues

I am just blinks away from the end of the school year.

And I am fucking loving it.

 

So I renewed my contract and all, but it doesn't mean that I like the school. No, I just did that so I wouldn't have difficulties looking for another school. I don't want them asking me why I left the school for only a year, because I don't want to tell them that I freaking hate the TOO much paperwork. I need to save my neck, you see. At least if I stayed for two years, then there is the possibility that they'll think the school where I came from sucks. So, on with my 2-year stay.

I have been making my incoming absence in the lives of my students felt. Today is my last day of classes with them and most of them, well, feel relieved or sad that they wouldn't see me again given that they would have a different teacher next year.

It has been a stressful year for me. I could only count on my fingers the moments when I felt that I am happy with what I am doing. Being the natural worrier that I am doesn't help me at all either. There were days when I felt that I am not human anymore, that I am just waking up and teaching these students just for compliance and for covering the necessary unnecessary information that they need to know to be unloaded on their test papers.

Today, however, I felt that I am going to miss my students.

 

But I do not want to be stuck with them for another year, so...

Go on bastards.

Not looking forward to another school year either.