I am very much disappointed that we only have a week’s worth
of sembreak. I just want to have that long and refreshing break that would make
me actually go back to school again. I just don’t want to think of any
school-related thing now even as I am planning to check my students’ outputs.
My students are my source of strength. What I cannot stand is my colleagues’
presence. I dread it every second. I feel like I am a slave to their caprices.
It was much made bigger by the misfortunes I had last term. I have been much
distressed since then. And their looming anger at my every step scares me. It’s
already been five months now since I first stepped into the halls of this new
school, and I feel as if I am still not grounded. That I am still the outsider,
the odd one out in our team. I always felt that my stay with them will be
transient. And that come January, I would have to scout again for new schools
to apply to. If that’s the case then, my plan of action is to get the necessary
documents for my MA and to apply to a state university as what I was previously
planning.
I just hate one of my colleagues sometimes, she is the only
one I know of who has a boyfriend but it overly smug and rude. If only our
students could truly see here as she really is. I do not think they would have
a crush on her. I always think that this bitterness towards me is caused by
what I can see as her being threatened by my presence in the department. If
only she could realize that I have no plans of snatching her throne from her.
What I only want to do is to teach and not to strive to please anyone. But
then, it is badly needed for my being rehired next year. If only I could fast
forward the two years so that I could already be a tenured teacher, I would do
so, just so a big burden will already be taken away from me.