It has been two weeks since I last posted something. I promised to myself that I am going to make this blog project a habit, that's why I'm here again, my dear rockers.
So, it's already almost the end of this new year's first month, and earlier, we were already given service renewal forms. I am supposed to submit it tomorrow, but until now, I am still leaving it blank.
I want to say no to renewing my contract and resign altogether because I do not want to do the wrong things that I did inside my classroom. As rebellious as I am, I have to admit that I have been a very bad and disrespectful teacher towards my students, and I do not want to repeat the same thing again next year. But at the same time I also want to stay because I want to erase those mistakes in the coming academic year.
I am feeling stressed while typing this, I already want to sleep now, but because I need to have some time for myself to reflect, I need to stay awake. I also want to stay because I am lazy enough to find my next job. I want to spend my vacation, refuel myself and recover from the emotional wear and tear that I have endured for a whole fucking year.
Again, practicality comes in, if I do resign with only 1 year experience, then it would be difficult for me to find another school to hire me, since they might think that I resigned from my previous teaching post because I had brushed with the powers-that-may-be in the said previous school. Fuck. I just want to say that I don't give a fuck whether I have a job or not. Hell, I can live on my own without even working, not with my apartment that I am renting out.
Teaching has been a very emotionally draining job for me, and now, I am just basically torn between practicality and preserving myself.
Fuck. I so want to rest.
So, it's already almost the end of this new year's first month, and earlier, we were already given service renewal forms. I am supposed to submit it tomorrow, but until now, I am still leaving it blank.
I want to say no to renewing my contract and resign altogether because I do not want to do the wrong things that I did inside my classroom. As rebellious as I am, I have to admit that I have been a very bad and disrespectful teacher towards my students, and I do not want to repeat the same thing again next year. But at the same time I also want to stay because I want to erase those mistakes in the coming academic year.
I am feeling stressed while typing this, I already want to sleep now, but because I need to have some time for myself to reflect, I need to stay awake. I also want to stay because I am lazy enough to find my next job. I want to spend my vacation, refuel myself and recover from the emotional wear and tear that I have endured for a whole fucking year.
Again, practicality comes in, if I do resign with only 1 year experience, then it would be difficult for me to find another school to hire me, since they might think that I resigned from my previous teaching post because I had brushed with the powers-that-may-be in the said previous school. Fuck. I just want to say that I don't give a fuck whether I have a job or not. Hell, I can live on my own without even working, not with my apartment that I am renting out.
Teaching has been a very emotionally draining job for me, and now, I am just basically torn between practicality and preserving myself.
Fuck. I so want to rest.
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